Financial Media: Worse than Useless

If I didn't know any better--and I'm not claiming I do--I'd maybe think about possibly planning on beginning to suspect the financial media of shilling for the financial community. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Mr. Mortgage must have gimlets (alas, not giblets--yum!) for eyes, because he found this in a CNBC transcript that didn't make it to air:

BARTIROMO: SO RIGHT NOW WE HAVE, WHAT, 9,000 BANKS? 9,000 BANKS IN THIS COUNTRY. WHAT WILL YOUR PREDICTION BE AS FAR AS HOW MANY THERE ARE IN THE NEXT FIVE YEARS?

LEWIS: GOSH, I HAVEN’T THOUGHT ABOUTTHAT. MAYBE HALF.“

Yeah, I guess the average viewer didn't want to hear that from the CEO of (People's) Bank of (People's Democratik Republik of) Amerika, but still, don'tcha think maybe she shoulda heard it anyway? Not 'cause I want a run on yer local bank, but still...

And Gawker corroborates the impossibly improbable press censorship:

The Wall Street Journal is also censoring itself on behalf of large banks. Its spokesman said the newspaper would "stay away from" the words "crash," "panic," "pandemonium" and "apocalypse."

And CNN is clamping down on words like "meltdown" and "free fall," according to its senior business correspondent Ali Velshi.

In the end, prolly not so wise to bite yer feeder, whatever that wacky Elvis Costello dude might say:

I wanna bite the hand that feeds me.
I wanna bite that hand so badly.

Backstory:

On December 17, 1977, Elvis Costello and the Attractions performed as a last-minute replacement for the Sex Pistols, who were unable to obtain passports. NBC and the show's producer Lorne Michaels didn't want the band to perform "Radio Radio", since the song protests the state of the media. The band defied them by beginning to play their song "Less Than Zero", stopping, with Costello telling the audience that there was no reason to do that song, and telling the band to play "Radio Radio" instead. It infuriated Michaels because it put the show off schedule, and the band were barred from performing again.

Just what does he see in that Diana Krall tart anyway?!!

Andrew Jackson for President?

"Gentlemen, I have had men watching you for a long time and I am convinced that you have used the funds of the bank to speculate in the breadstuffs of the country. When you won, you divided the profits amongst you, and when you lost, you charged it to the bank. You tell me that if I take the deposits from the bank and annul its charter, I shall ruin ten thousand families. That may be true, gentlemen, but that is your sin! Should I let you go on, you will ruin fifty thousand families, and that would be my sin! You are a den of vipers and thieves." -Andrew Jackson, 7th US President

Milk Bone(R) to The Financial Ninja for the above quote; he goes further into the story, but I thought this was eerily similar to today. What a surprise; it's possible to actually repeat historical mistakes? Say it ain't so...I for one am not looking forward to getting cut open again for non-foodstuffs I gulped down. C'mon: who knew squeaky balls weren't food? Why could I swallow them, then, huh?

Stupid CPI Games

So the gubmint has this CPI thing all rigged up to steal, basically, from retirees and the clueless masses, yours truly naturally not exempt: they hire allegedly cute (not!) kitties to distract me while I get short-shrifted.

There's now an official FAQ debunking the myth of the evil Bureau of Labor Statistics by explaining "common misconceptions." That's funny, I thought a common misconception was that I'm already large, yet will do anything for food, when in fact I'm chronically systematically starved and merely trying to subsist. Or the vet's indelicately suggesting that I could stand to lose a couple pounds such that I'd put less stress on my stifles (knees). Puh-leeze!

On the other hand, there's this John Williams guy (no, not the Close Encounters/Star Wars/Superman/RotLA composer dude, and not the classical guitarist dude either) who really understands what they're doing, and calls them out on it.

Amazingly, when you put the two together, they're quite complementary. Like I tell you how I'm starving and need a good meal already, or at least a treat or five, and everyone else says--slanderously--that I'm a food whore. Not complimentary, though, as I doubt they have anything nice to say to each other.